Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Journey Part I

I have decided to use my blog to (among other things) chronicle my journey down the path of spirituality. Over the next weeks and months (or longer) I will make entries on what's going on and my feelings.

For this first entry, I'm going to explain my background and where I'm at now.

So far in my life, I have had little exposure to any religion at all. My maternal grandmother was Catholic and very religious. I also had a few great aunts who were nuns. Because of my grandmother, my first three years of school (K-2) were in the neighborhood Catholic school. As for my parents, unless it was for a wedding or a funeral, we never set foot inside of a church. To this day, I cannot tell you which religion my father was raised in, if any at all.

As you can imagine, when it comes to religion and spirituality, I have no experience. That doesn't mean that I have no knowledge of religion, however. I am fascinated by not only the concept of religion but the different denominations as well. My biggest hindrance is that when I have a question, I don't know how to ask without seeming to be questioning the religion itself.

My girlfriend has always been more religious than I. This had never been a problem. I understood that religion played a larger role in her life than mine. She also understood that religion was not a part of my life. I have never stood in the way of her attending church or having our daughter in church related programs. As long as our daughter wanted to do it, I was fine with it.

Recently, my girlfriend has become a born again Christian. This has caused a few hiccups in our relationship, which I will not discuss here. As a result, I have begun to explore my spirituality. I have been attending church with the rest of the family and have even met with the pastor. I am beginning to understand what it means to them to be reborn as a Christian and to give their lives to God.

Which brings me to my current dilemma and the motivation for this project. In the meeting with the pastor and in discussions with my girlfriend, I have learned that a lot of born again Christians have asked for a sign, to show Himself to them. Some have also asked for Him to show them their calling. I am confused by the fact that I may have both happening to me without asking.

Some of you may be aware of the problems in Zimbabwe right now. Most don't because this country's media has not covered it. For those that don't I have a post about is farther down in my blog. I do like to help needy causes when I can. Lately I haven't had the financial resources to do so. The strife in Zimbabwe has taken on a new meaning for me recently. I have been coming up with plans for me to help out. Not just small ways either. Grand plans that have me forming a non-profit group, gathering corporate and other donations, buying the supplies that are needed there and personally delivering them.

What is confusing to me is, is this an overflow of compassion on my part or something more? I have been trying to figure that out for the last week or so and I think I need to speak with the pastor again.

That's where I'm at now. Keep checking back. As I begin down the spiritual path, I will post updates.

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